Third day in Bangkok: Patpong Night and the Pingpong Show

I thought I would get a good night’s sleep after our shopping spree at Platinum. But Tata insisted we go to Patpong, which is the red light district of BKK, to watch the pingpong show. I’ve heard of the pingpong show before. It’s a popular sex show in Bangkok where the women use their pelvic muscles to hold, eject, blow objects from there ****. And I’ve heard as well of pingpong show scams where tourists are ripped off when watching these kind of shows.

I hesitated going to Patpong because I was really tired and we didn't know where exactly it is. I honestly don’t feel safe going out at night in Bangkok and what more if we are going to Patpong. But Tata really wanted and I was getting more curious. What the heck, we are not going back to Bangkok anytime soon. And so we went.

Patpong, near the night bazaar

Abby opted to stay at the hotel, so it was just me, Erick, and Tata. We were supposed to take the BTS to the nearest station in Patpong. But as soon as we went out from our soi, a tuktuk driver seemed to read our minds hehe. Yep, he drove us to a dark alley where a pingpong show is running. We agreed that we would only watch the show if its THB 250-300, otherwise forget it.

We were greeted by an old man with cigar; he priced the show at THB 400. No way, we haggled to THB 300 and insisted that it was our last night and we had no money left. He rudely said in Thai accent “No, it’s THB 400 already cheap for tourists like you, caucasians we charge THB 800”. We declined and walked away. But another man supposedly his son agreed to give it to us at THB 350 (Php 490). And we’re in!

It was really dark inside and it looked that this establishment is hiding something illegal. So anyways, there was a small stage and a pole on the stage itself. The chairs are circled around the stage. The show already started. If we were only allowed to take pictures, I would happily post them here to save me from describing what I saw. Really something unbelievable. 

There were 7-10 girls with their own solo act/exhibition.

A girl inserted a blade connected by a string to her **** . Ouch! And then pulled the string out..

Another girl opened a bottle of coke using her ****. You can actually hear the sound of the bottle opening. She even let the audience mostly the guys touch the bottle cap to check if it’s really closed before inserting it. She passed the bottle to Erick and I hissed to him “Don’t touch it or else you’re dead”. So being an obedient boyfriend, he didn’t.

A plump girl inserted pingpong balls in her **** and sort of ejected them and let them bounced to shoot in the bowl. WTH. How she did it, I am not sure! And if the ball didn’t shoot in the bowl, the ball is returned to her so she could try once more. Poor girl!

Okay here’s another one, an old lady.. yes she’s tad old to be your nanny..She drew and wrote using her ****. She wrote "Welcome to Thailand". The pencil was inserted in between hers. Sure, that was a warm welcome!

And as if there’s a birthday celebration, a girl blew candles using you know..haha. Happy birthday to me btw.

One more, ever wondered if the **** can smoke? Yes it can! I saw it puffed smoke as the cigarette was tucked inside. It was really crazy.

For the show’s finale, this is IT. It was a live show between a real woman and man. Imagine the act without the guy’s member not being removed from the girl’s after they’ve tried so many different positions. Our guess? 100 unique positions.

These are just some of the things that my virgin eyes saw.. hehe. They’ve done several other tricks which I choose to forget. The show lasted for an hour and then it would start again with same set of tricks and exhibitions. And yes, same performers.

This is probably the grossest post I’ve ever written. Sorry dear readers, I just wanted to share my Patpong experience so you will be prepared when you decide to see the show.

Awkward moment for us but for the heck of it

If you want to watch it, go in groups. Haggle the price, if they offer it at  THB400-500 haggle until they give you 50-60% price off.

One last note, if the tuktuk driver offered you to bring to the pingpong show don’t expect that he will wait for you after the show though he tells you that he will. They get commissions by bringing guests to the show so if they got their commission..bye bye to you. Make sure you can still manage to get out of Patpong safe and sound.